Radio and Television Irish Style

These blogs, when I finally get around to them, (sorry about the long break) are meant to highlight the differences between living in Australia and Ireland.

And I don’t think there could be anything more different than local Irish radio.

Disclaimer: I need to say from the outset that I love local Irish radio.  It has become a part of our lives and I would be lost without it.  I would miss it terribly if I didn’t have it to wake up to, eat porridge over or work alongside all day.  Unlike Australian radio DJs, the radio hosts are genuinely engaging, and don’t have to resort to cheap tricks like employing their mother to read the weather or their father to review the latest album to get a laugh.  My two favourite jokes so far have also  been on Irish radio:

Her: ‘I hear that during her current pregnancy, Katherine Middleton is only eating raw food.’

Him: ‘What, doesn’t she have an oven?’ ; and

‘I bought a packet of sausages from Sainsburys with a picture of Jamie Oliver on the front.  And on the back it said ‘prick with a fork’ and I thought…they got that right!’

(Another disclaimer: I also like Jamie Oliver, but it is a funny joke)

So everything I say from this point forward is meant with the greatest respect to those who work so hard to bring me so much joy every day.

8 things I have learnt from local Irish radio:

1. Traffic conditions, and how many people have died in those conditions IS the most important thing that has happened in the world overnight.  Wars in the middle east, landslides in Asia and mass murders in the US all have their place, but not until a report on the roadworks on the Stranorlar to Strabane Road, between Killygordon and Liscooley.

2.  When a DJ refers to four seasons in one day, he is referring to rain, hail, sleet AND snow. (On the subject of weather, I could write an entire blog on weather as a conversation starter here, and may well do so one day.  In the meantime, just take my word that the expression ‘phew, what a scorcher’ is not an expression that starts many conversations in the grocers or beauticians).

3.  DJs can avoid too much repetition of current hits by constantly playing old hits. And if those hits are from some obscure Irish/Northern Irish artist from the late 80s, early 90s, even better.  I thought I had heard the last of the Waterboys ‘Whole of the Moon’ and Fergal Sharkey’s ‘A Good Heart (Is Hard to Find)’ in my early 20s.  How wrong did I turn out to be?

4. In Ireland, Christmas songs must be played, every hour, on the hour, and every minute in between, between 1 and 27 December or until someone drives off the Stranorlar to Strabane road in despair.  Who would have thought I would be sick of Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ when woken by those dulcet tones every morning for a month?  (Truth be told, once was too often).  Then just to mix it up, the DJ will throw in ‘All I Want for Christmas is….My Two Front Teeth’   My father used to sing that to me as a child, and I thought it was something he made up.  Nope, it’s a real thing, and they play it on the radio here, together with Bing Crosby’s White Christmas and ‘Santa Baby.’ That last one is sung by some sultry minx and she sing/whispers ala Marilyn Monroe to President Kennedy about Santa hurrying down the chimney with a 54 Cadillac, suggesting it may not be the newest of releases.  I have to admit liking that last one, at least until the hundredth play.  

5.  Country music is not only a genre that still exists, but should be put on a pedestal and worshipped, particularly during peak radio times.  What other country would feature, as the top news item in the yearly round up, the controversial cancellation of a series of concerts in Dublin by a country and western star who hasn’t been heard of in the rest of the world outside America since 1993 (Sorry, Garth Brooks fans, apparently you are out there in abundance, I just haven’t met anyone prepared to admit it yet).

6. There is such a thing as ‘Dead and Worn out Animal Services’   This is not just a figment of my imagination, although my imagination does run wild, if I think about it too long or too hard upon hearing the morning’s Services Directory bulletin.

7.  There are English words that cannot be translated to Irish. I love listening to the morning bulletin for Irish speakers, not only because I love the sound of Irish spoken fluently, but because I can make out the occasional English word that has no Irish equivalent, such as ‘Hollywood’ and ‘Miley Cyrus’  It is somehow reassuring to know that the people of the Gaelteacht don’t miss out on trivial entertainment ‘news’ either.

And last, but by no means least,

8.  Death Notices are the most important thing on local Irish radio. These must be reported at least twice a day, from a man or woman speaking in the most reverent of tones, so you could be mistaken for thinking they knew the deceased.  In this part of the world, there is a good possibility they did.   

I had titled this blogpost ‘Radio and Television Irish Style.’  However, I can’t really comment on the television.  You see, we haven’t been able to get our television to work at home, due to a number of factors, including our location under a mountain, and the fact our television is already pre-set to search for channels, but only in Australia, New Zealand and Singapore.  (very convenient).  At least this saves us the Television Licence Fee; another difference with Australia, where the government doesn’t charge you to enjoy your favourite pastime of sitting on your bum doing nothing.

From the snippets of Irish television we have caught, and with a few notable exceptions, I am pretty sure we are not missing too much. Please feel free to comment on this blog if I have got that wrong.

As I finish this, I am tapping my feet to Glenn Miller’s ‘In the Mood’ on the radio….Until next time…..